talking about the
one thing no one
talks about on
(...or ever, really.)
the one thing that consumes our society, our minds, our lives...but is severely avoided in any and all conversations at extreme lengths.
everyone has it, but no one ever knows how they are doing compared to everyone else or if you should be working harder or making more or saving more or what is even going on because it's so damn. controversial.
its the biggest elephant in the history of all rooms.
one year ago, i left my apartment in Los Angeles, gave away nearly everything I owned, booked a one way ticket to a little island cradled in the depths of the Pacific Ocean, and never looked back. no plan. no direction. i had little to no financial security at the time. i was selling art prints and hand writing postcards. living month to month from the income i was making just to get by.
coming to Hawaii was a blind leap of faith. but i jumped anyways. and the net appeared out of thin air. I watched as this life arose from nothingness. as it surfaced from the soil, rising from the roots of a little seed, planted upon the edge of my untamed imagination. through free falling into the arms of uncertainty, I rose upon the wings of courage.
i am 19 years old. and there is no rule book for any of this. i am still figuring all of this life out as I go along. day by day. just as you are. there is a human being behind this screen. one who is not immune to pain. to the fragility of this existence. someone who feels everything you do. whose life is messy and a lot less together than you may expect.
i still have to pay bills and rent and fill up my car with gas and buy food. and it would be so easy for me to play the game. to work with brands. to post bullshit teatox ads for thousands of dollars, and singlehandedly use this platform for fame or money. following your heart is not supposed to be easy. it’s actually the hardest shit ever. sacrificing everything for a dream no one can see but is the definition of insanity for some. but abandoning the relentless pursuit of your inner purpose, is infinitely more painful in the long run. for on a surface level, you can become the definition of societal success. you can feed your ego through the accumulation of wealth and fancy cars and mansions that stretch on for miles. but what is having “everything” worth if you feel empty inside?
i will always be raw. vulnerable. for if i abandon my authenticity, i have nothing. i lose everything.
social media has gradually become saturated with surface level content. instagram is currently a living, breathing advertisement. the amount of money brands offer influencers is sickening. and nearly everyone falls for it. but i will never sacrifice myself for short term financial gain. i used to be a little girl who looked up to older girls on social media. i bought what they bought. wore what they wore. hoping that one day i could be like them, and by adopting the labels of their lifestyle, i was one step closer to a better version of who i wanted to be. and in this process, i drifted further and further from my inner truth.
i never want to be this. ever.
i am fairly sure there isn’t a single logical bone in my body. nearly every decision i make is guided by my heart over my head. and because of this, i have the tendency to neglect the responsibilities of functioning as a human being within a world governed by numbers. i can’t even remember the last time i glanced at my bank account.
i really wish money didn’t exist. but it does exist. and for so long, i perceived money as this toxic illusion of security. i have held it out at arms length, and avoided it seemingly at all costs. i’ve lived month to month, making sure I had just enough to make rent and take care of myself. while most of this world is driven by money alone, i am so completely far on the other end of the spectrum that i forget to take care of myself at times. i have felt guilt about making money for so long. and yes, i am aware that this is entirely illogical. i am trying to shift my current perception of finances.
to see it as an exchange of energy. not as some life threatening plague. because the truth is, the more you have, the more you can give. like, for example. If I currently had one million dollars in my bank account I would probably have opened up an animal shelter/healing retreat center/started a nonprofit…the list goes on and on. I have so many dreams that could be elevated by a stronger financial foundation, and I no longer want to be caged by these self limiting beliefs.
i never want to come off as though i am selling something to you, which is why i never work with brands. but i still have to take care of myself. i still have to sustain my life. and i am still learning. everything. every single day.
while I believe that financial freedom is a symptom of alignment with the pursuit of your passions, I never want to place the burden of finances upon writing alone. i never want my purest form of art to be fueled by anything other than love and passion alone. expectation limits self expression exponentially. this is why i am choosing to cultivate financial foundation for myself through an alternative source of creativity. my newest collection of presents will be my primary source of income.
photography has been a love of mine since i was a child and picked up my first film camera, and would spend hours capturing this world through my eyes. images of little bees dancing through auburn marigolds in my backyard and elephant shaped clouds cluttered our family room table and filled the walls of our home. i can honestly say that this collection of presets is beautiful. every single one exudes pure emotion, and is infused with the energy of this island. each one illuminates the nostalgic energy of an inner home i unearthed through connection. through humans. through love. i am so excited to share them, with you. to paint your captured moments with the colors of my imagination, to witness our art surge and blend together as one. but i never want any of you to feel withheld from self expression due to your current financial situation. and this is why i’ve decided to create a smaller collection pack of my four favorite presets available for $14.
your self expression is infinitely more important than any number.
your art is an essential catalyst in healing this earth.